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pout pout pout ____________________________________________________ Life's screwed. Not that it had ever unscrewed itself since the day I realised that it is super screwed.
I thought I was out of it, but I guessed it is the effect of the summer vacation. Everyone's enjoying the SUN, SAND and SEA, escaping from the crudeness of reality. Whatever that had happened in this summer vacation could have just been a mirage. Happiness that does not last. Happiness that should not even exist. Happiness that can't creep over the edge to reality. Is it real? Could I really be that happy? All is it just an illusion? Afraid that all these happiness would not last.. . It all stopped... When I thought about Reality and what's up and coming for me. Reality just came crushing back at me. School term is starting soon. This gonna be my final year. 1 more academic year to be sitting on the capulate before shooting into the working world. That's less than 365.25 days. Future? Goals? Grim. What if I screwed up this sem again and graduate with a BEng? I have a high chance of screwing up this sem. Cos prof Leung aint replying me. Today I checked my enhancement programme profile, I did not have any under my name. Ain't it screwed. If Polar Bear never register for me, then I have to take additional 2 modules instead of one. My final year will be overloaded. :( . And currently, I seemed that I could no longer apply for IWP, which I have already completed the report. All these I have done are all in vain. :(. Later I screwed up my final year, graduate BA Eng, what future is there for me? No one who want to hire someone who is so cannot make it. :( Going to La Salle is out of the question now. Cos, it's too expensive. Or I can always follow the path Ber might take, that is to do Masters. But I don't even have Honours, I could I take Masters. :( What future is there for me? Is there a future in SIN? I don't know. I don't dare to think. I chose to live in a lie, so that I'll be happy. But will it last? It's just happiness but not JOY. Praying for the best outcome is the only thing I could do after I made the choice. |
