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mylife mystyle recent perks
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Of cows and politics ____________________________________________________ ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them. CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows. COMMUNISM, IDEALIZED: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk. COMMUNISM, REALITY: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation. DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win. DEMOCRACY, SINGAPEOREAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. DICTATORSHIP, IDEALIZED: You have two cows. The government orders you to drink their milk. DICTATORSHIP, REALITY: You have two cows. The government orders you to shoot them. EDUCATIONALISM: You have two cows. You pay for them to go to university. They come home as philosophy graduates and want to debate "The Morality Of Milk In A Cross-Species Society". Giving milk is now beneath their station in life anyway. ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf. INDUSTRIALISM: You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead. LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business. MARXISM-LENINISM: The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather. MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. MONARCHY: You have two cows. You give some milk to the King/Queen. NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you. SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor. TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols." TOTATITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. UTOPIANISM: You have two cows. Mother Nature zaps the cows, turning their udders into eternal milk-shake dispensers. |
