Infatuation
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I was talking to Arpan about infatuation today. I thought what we went through was quite interesting and I would like to share with you guys.
I shall start by giving background information of why we started on this topic.
Arpan and I was discussing about my friend's issue, because I do not know how to help him. Because of my kpo-ness, I had became an unwitting counselor.
Summary:
Guy likes girl. His relationship with her was ambiguous for a very long time (count in years). So this year, he decided to ask her to be his girlfriend. But she is attached already. She told him that he was late for a month. He was very heart-broken.
Side note:
I feel that it does not matter whether a person is late for a day, a week, a month, a year or years. The conclusion would still be the same. They would still not be together. I felt that all these are just fated. I've seen people who had been late for in all these timings and all of them have the same ending.
Anyway, Arpan told me that what he felt from my description is that Guy is only infatuated with Girl. But to me, I felt that Guy has crosses the line of infatuation. He was able to accept Girl totally (all her good and her bad).
RP: yes...but what puzzles me is, it seems more like a physical attraction then anything else and that is very dangerous
Me: why does it seemed more like physical?
RP: 1) he liked her the 1st time he laid eyes on her 2) he accepts her the way she is...without listing any particular trait as being liked
RP: these are all indicative of a physical attraction to me
Me: probably initially it is physical
Me: actually it muz be physical
RP: thats how it always starts
Me: if not u wont be close to that person
Me: but subsequently, he got to know her and accepted who she really likes and be able to tolerate her nonsense. To me ... it really meant something. What do u think?
RP: I still think that he should be able to state characteristics that he liked abt her
RP: specific ones
RP: else, the relationship is still too physical
Me: actually i dun think so... when u truly accepts a person or love a person, I believe that u accepts him/her as a whole - the good and the bad
RP: That part i agree
Me: until u dun really know what u like the person about. cos it's everything
RP: but thats not how u start out. u start out by identifying the good and the bad
Me: definitely
RP: else its just infatuation
Me: but the ambiguity lasted for X yr. i think it definitely crosses infatuation. if it is purely infatuation, it's very hard to last that long except if the two of them hardly interact (but it is not for their case)
RP: ppl can be infatuated a long time
Me: I feel that if u are infatuated with someone, u can say what u like about the person cos it's prominent and tat's what attracted u which is usually physical
RP: true, but whenever u cross the physical stage, thats when you start looking at the other parts of her, the emotional parts
Me: yah. that's when u start realising alot of things about the person which are very foreign, which u might not accept. that's when honeymoon ended
RP: however, if the girl is VERY PRETTY in your eyes, you might look beyond them. thats what i mean
Me: beauty in the eyes of the beholder
Me: that's more than infatuation, aint it?
RP: i dun think so. think it is part of infatuation
Me: y? how?
RP: cos physical attraction can cause ppl to overlook emotional needs/flaws
Me: what do u mena?
RP: someone is very very pretty, a person might look at the physical side a lot more than the emotional side...for a lack of another word, lust over rides other factors, including common sense
RP: its like looking at a rose...
RP: if u see a very beautiful flower, you might desire to possess it. and therefore, you reach for it to pluck it, without realizing that there are thorns hidden amongst the leaves. so it is with infatuation
Me: but wat if u reach out for the rose, get pierce by thorns. but still wanna hold on to it regardless of everything, is it still infatuation?
RP: infatuation is the act of picking the rose... after that, if you still hold on to the rose stem, all that will happen is that the rose will slowly wither and die and all u have left is a stem full of thorns. but if you then put the rose in fertile soil, and trim the thorns and let it grow then u will have a rose bush for eternity
Me: but the infuation wld have developed into something else when u hold on to it without letting go
RP: true, but there are 3 things that can happen
RP: 1)u realise the presence of the thorns, and u throw the rose away 2) you cling on to the rose, oblivious to the thorns and the pain it is causing you, and the bloom dies on you, and u are left with the thorns OR 3) you realise the thorns are there, and you wear gloves before you pick the rose. then you gently trim the thorns, and you put that rose bud into fertile soil, and watch it grow
Me: but how did u trim it and put it into fertile soil and grow?
RP: you do that by knowing that the thorns are there... but to do that you have to look beyond the flower to whats hidden underneath. yet, you must still be able to say why you like the flower. what is it abt it that makes it special. you see what i am getting at?
Me: yeah
(note: msn conversation has been slightly edited)
What do you think of this rose theory?
Shoes Malfunction
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This is a bad year for my shoes. From the start of this year (1/1/07), my shoes started spoiling.
Event 1:
When I came back from 07 countdown, I realised the sole of my Mphosis heels came off. So I had to throw it away.
Event 2:
I left home for Terence's and Prab's party, my URS heels broke just outside my door. So I had to go back to change.
Event 3:
During BCA job fair, I din have suitable shoes for the formal event, cos I din want to wear my Elle crocodile-skin court shoes. So I took my mummy's shoes to wear. In the end, the heels dropped off and Faizal gotta help me buy elephant glue which totally did not have any use at all. But gotta thank Faizal for buying for me, PQ for helping me facilitate "Rescue Juvena and shoe" exercise and Arpan for sending me home.
Event 4:
Today, on the way to school (actually at the stairs of my apartment block), my golden Charles and Keith slippers spoilt. The string which helped to secure my feet came off. This forces me to use my newly bought slippers which I intended for CNY.
This is a bad year for my shoes.
I'm left with 1 go-school slippers, 1 black go-beach slippers, 1 red heels, 1 Elle court shoes, 1 ugly looks Charles and Keith heels which should be spoiling soon, 1 uncomfortable URS heels.
:(
I need a nice comfortable dark colored heels.
Multiply
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I'm very happy.
Because of Kel -> Farhan, I got to find out that Multiply has a lot of songs that can be sampled. Managed to find a lot of songs that I missed out for the past year and found out about bands that I had not listen to for awhile.
:)
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