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mylife mystyle recent perks
remember those times
rommies of my life
reading .N.O.T.E.S. |
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Work ____________________________________________________ I started working for about 2 months.
Work has been rather fun. I get to learn a lot of things from my hands-on experience. It is not like studying at all, which is sooo boring. Sometimes, it is so hard to visualize the concepts from books. But when you are doing your job, everything is so clear. I get to learn a lot of things from the people I work with. Maybe I am just too green, and I really knew nothing, everything seemed like a new thing to me. I am always amazed by things I did not know and learning is my top priority now. Whenever people give me work to do, I would just accomplished them. Freakish it may be, but I am really enjoying my business. However, I am also starting to lead a NO LIFE life. I realized that I am starting to get very much caught up with my work since I am doing so many projects. My transport engineer is leaving my company and I am taking over all his work if my MD don't hire anyone. Irene is teaching me the hardcore of transport engineering. It is a "minor" project but the dateline for submission is very tight. She is giving me less than one week to do. Maybe they really needed people. -_-''' When I first started working 2 months back, I do not want to work OT at all, especially when there is no OT pay. Now, I worked OT at least 2 times a week. I actually did not mind doing OT, as I also did not feel like going home that early. I would not be going home early too. So, for every weekday, I would either go out with friends or work my ass off. But today, I felt my life quite empty. I finally realised that I have no life. I definitely have not gone out to enjoy myself for a very long time. I haven gone clubbing, shopping, swimming and high-tea. I am very busy even on saturdays and sundays. Weekends are just BURNT. Saturday, I would need to go tuition and learn driving and SOMETIMES work. Sunday, I would go church. I really have no time for myself. Everyday gotta sleep early. :( Life just felt very empty. Probably I am in the TRANSITION stage once again. Remember those days when you graduate from primary school and moved to secondary school, secondary school to junior college and junior college to university? TRANSITION stage into something new. Maybe it is time for me to decide what I really want in life. How I would behave, in office or with my friends. With this limited time, I would not be able to maintain relationships like I used to do. My friends are all starting to have partners in life. Friends forever. . . Is it really possible? It is so hard to meet up with your friends after that! Friends might be drifting away from you. Maybe soon, friends will become acquittance and soon strangers. Isn't life like this sad? But there's one more thing about work that makes me happier - MONEY. I finally realized the power of money. It has the ability to provide me with freedom. I have less restricting factors. I could now consider buying things that I like (things that I used to not bear to buy), do things like traveling when money used to always be the limiting factor. It really feel very good to be free. Theory ____________________________________________________ Theories are not difficult to formulate, just that we could not verbalize what we know. Recently, I am going through a study with my church friends. It was called "The Love Languages of God" by Dr Gary Chapman. His first book on this topic was "The Five Love Languages". I feel that it is quite a good book as it has helped me reflect on what I had done previously. One of the key topic he dealt with was "why don't you feel loved". When I looked back, my love languages with my previous boyfriends was indeed very different and hence I do not feel loved (and maybe Jan also din felt loved too). At that time, I felt that it was a major issue and it cannot be changed. Back at my head, I did understand that the way we expressed our feelings are different. I did not want anybody to change as I rather they find someone more suitable for them. I realized today that I know what was happening back then, but I do not know how to verbalize it. That's why I could not create any new theory. :( haha. Detached : : : : : : Escape? ____________________________________________________ SOMEONE gave me a shuffle recently.
For people who has known me long enough, they would have known that I do not have the habit of bringing a walkman, discman or mp3player around. I would rather use my speakers when listening to songs. However, recently, I happened to own a shuffle. I decided to maximize the usage instead of using it like a thumb-drive. One day, I brought it along with me when I go to office. I decided to try it out for the very first time. Usually, when I am on the train, I would choose to observe my surroundings, like the view (even though it's always the same, but I sincerely thank God for the beauty) and the people (some people could really be a bit eccentric). That fateful Saturday morning, which I used my shuffle, everything feels different. I would still be looking and observing my surrounding. Everything is the same and yet at the same time different. I seemed to have lost touch with reality and immersed myself in the music. I feel very detached from the world. What I felt is almost the same as watching a movie. The train is moving, and you could only hear your own music (fyi: and that point of time, I was listening to some trance songs which is commonly used for background music when protagonist is running or on the train or in motion). My world seemed not to have existed and I lived in a reel world. Escapism? Maybe. . . Maybe not . . . My sense of hearing heightening and began to be in-sync with my sight. I began to have different interpretations of the space I am in. Looking at my world with another perspective - with the perspective of music and lyrics. Cool it is.. Scary it is . . It could totally change my mood that day. I read my world with those emo-lyrics. Probably I should put all chirpy and happy songs inside MY shuffle. |
